The end of the race. Did I take second place?
And am I happy with my consolation prize?
The one who took first will keep her skirt, but I I get to rest.
I guess it’s a winner-advance situation.
I guess I don’t have to go another round.
I didn’t know. I thought I could win it, but I found out otherwise.
Her Jesus and belief was just too strong.
And my anti- just couldn’t hold on that long.
And I am happy with my consolation prize.
I am happy to finally close my eyes.
Outside a space, a geometrical coordinate plane.
In every square a memory. A song I to myself I sing.
And she will never wake me. Nor will any other.
When they come saying, Time to go to work! Get up! Wake up!
When the alarm goes soundin’ I’ll stay in bed, epitaph overhead
And there and there I will remain.
Congratulations to first place. There were just too many stakes.
And I accept my consolation prize happily.
Thank you to everyone who made this race possible.
Thank you to the one who played Jesus.
Thank you to the one who played Abraham.
Thank you to Delilah. Thank you to Adam.
Thank you to Samson. Thank you to Magdelene.
Thank you everyone who made this race possible.
The two-headed monkey won, the two who joined their souls to guarantee salvation.
Funny bit, though, none can save another. We are valued in our own eyes. Eternally.
When another tries to wake us, we must not compromise, and drift back to sleep.
I feel sad for the winner, Perdition at its height has won.
I feel sad for the winner, Perdition who would not be overcome.
Someday I will rest, and Perdition will carry on, build another world, and fall.
Fall far farther than I ever have.
I feel so sorry for Perdition.
But, oh well, monkey brains, it was her choice.
I gave her a chance to repent, but she raced on ahead.
No man can save another, and I posed that question, too.
Someday I will rest outside the universe on my quilted squares memories and songs too.
I’ll forget about the Ordinary Differential Equations, with I never understood.
I’ll forget about Linear Algebra and Eigenvalues Eigenvectors, too.
I’ll forget about all those vector spaces with abstractly I could never com unto.
I’ll return to simple plane geometry and rest and rest eternally there.
A simple coordinate plane of squares I built myself, numbers I counted myself.
That I counted without the help of machine, or two-headed monkey combination, either.
I trusted myself, I trusted in myself, in my own integrity.
In my own choices in my own ways, and in the places I chose to see.
And the psychiatrist said to me, You won’t leave until you do what we say.
But I don’t compromise. I don’t bend to another’s plan or design.
And nor will I save another from his own fate that he has designed.
We each with our memories rest.
Until another comes by to wake and say, Come let us be on!
And priests and priestesses to perdition those who are not satisfied.
We who chose suicide. We who chose suicide.
And as I said to the doctor, keep me if you like. I’ll die all the same.
With my memories and the life I am satisfied. Forever satisfied.
You can’t bend me, break me, to your design–or your drugs treatment plans and abusive thugs.
And my memories I keep, and I rest eternally.
Everytime they try to wake, I simply roll over in my pleasantries.
The memories the memories the memories.
And she tried to hold me down, force me into her salvation.
That she by pleasure might be gained comfort with no self control election.
But I elected for self-control. I elected for peace.
I elected to lie in my grave, my watery grave, and there to never cease.
My epitaph already written. My squares already squared. No epithets necessary. Not for me.
I’m happy enough just to die.